(Sakhyulations translations Ch. 1-11)

Of course, he’d never say those words out loud. But it wasn’t surprising that Nan Feng and Fu Yao had changed colours so dramatically when they’d heard about the silver butterflies, as they had served the two Heavenly Officials who had suffered at the hands of those silver butterflies.

One Heavenly Official asked, “Your Highness Crown Prince, when you met Hua Cheng, h-h-h-he… what did he do to you?”

Hearing that tone of voice, it was clear he wanted to ask instead, “Did you lose an arm or a leg?”

Xie Lian said, “He didn’t do anything, only…” At this point, he didn’t know what to say, and thought to himself, “Only… what? I can’t say he only received me from the marriage sedan and walked me for a bit.” After thinking for a moment, he could only say, “He only broke the enchanted maze cast by the demon Xuan Ji, and brought me inside.”

Many of the Heavenly Officials brooded over this for a moment, muttering to themselves. After a while, a Heavenly Official said, “All, what is the opinion on this matter?”

Listening to the sounds in the spirit communications array, Xie Lian could imagine all the Heavenly Officials shaking their heads and lifting their hands, saying, “No opinion, absolutely no opinion!”

“I don’t know what he wants, scaring people like that.”

“What could Hua Cheng want, no one has ever been able to understand…”

Though rumours that Hua Cheng was something of a devil incarnate had spread far and wide, to Xie Lian, he didn’t seem scary at all. He felt that Hua Cheng had actually helped him. As well, after he’d returned to the Heavens, Xie Lian had received his first merit (note: blessing/prayer from a worshipper), and [this business should have been finished].

As promised before, all the offerings made from the trip to Yu Jun Mountain this time were counted as his. Because the old official had only remembered about the offerings after his daughter had been dead for so long, he still brought heartfelt offerings, but inevitably they were fewer than was initially expected from him. However, gathering all of those offerings together, it was close enough to the eight million, eight hundred eighty thousand merits he needed to make. Xie Lian, now an entire debt lighter, his head and heart clear and boundless, happy and carefree and in quite high spirits, decided to properly be a Heavenly Official. The best part of it all was that he could become half a friend to all the Heavenly Officials now. Though the spirit communications array in the Heavens was normally quiet, when it became loud, it was truly chaotic. Normally the Heavenly Officials were all quite calm, or if they came across something entertaining, they’d say something about it in the array with a teasing line or two. Though Xie Lian was still unclear about who was who, he would still listen silently. He couldn’t always stay silent this way, however, so when he’d listened for a while, he’d blurt out a line.

“Wow, this truly is entertaining!”

“I’ve come across a beautiful line of poetry, let me share it.”

“I’ve discovered a hilarious recipe to cure back and leg pain, let me share it.”

What was unfortunate was that every time he shared his rather detailed quips and tips, which were quite useful in content, the entire spirit communications array would fall silent. Eventually, Ling Wen couldn’t bear it any longer, and pulled him aside to tell him privately, “Your highness, these things that you share into the array might be useful. But even officials a hundred years older than you would not send such things into the array.”

Xie Lian was a bit depressed. Though it was obvious he wasn’t the oldest of all the Heavenly Officials, why was he the slowest to catch up to the conversational topics of the young ones, like some kind of old person? Probably because he’d been separated from the heavenly realm for far too long. And being continuously ignorant of the goings-on of outer realms not mortal, he probably couldn’t be rescued on this aspect. Oh, well. When he let go of this issue, he felt a little less depressed.

There was another problem. In the human realm, there still were no temples built for him. Perhaps, the heavenly realm hadn’t found one, and so couldn’t have recorded any. [Even a lowly] god of the earth had a temple. He, who had properly ascended, and had ascended thrice to the stage of a Heavenly Official, still had not a single temple, and further yet not a single follower – it was quite an embarrassing situation.

Still, the embarrassment was mostly felt by the Heavenly Officials around him. Xie Lian himself felt fine about it. On a whim one day, he suddenly said, “If no one wants to worship me, then maybe it’s all right if I worshipped myself!”

All the Heavenly Officials had no idea how to reply to that.

Who the fuck has heard of a heavenly official worshipping themself!

To be a heavenly official at such a miserable stage – there wasn’t any point!

Yet Xie Lian had long since gotten used to awkward silences after speaking in the spirit communications array. He thought that amusing himself in this way could make an interesting story, and so once he dec ided on this, he jumped from the heavens back down to the human realm.

This time, the place he landed was a small mountainous village, called Pu Ji Village (note: Water Chestnut Village).

It was practically just a muddy slope. Xie Lian saw the clear mountains and rivers, the continuous rice paddy fields, the elegant landscape, and thought, “I’ve really landed in a nice place this time.” On top of the muddy slope, he saw a slightly wrecked shack. He asked about and all the villagers said, “That’s been abandoned. No residents. Sometimes a wanderer might go in to sleep for a night; use it as you wish.” Wasn’t that exactly what he wanted? Immediately, he walked inside.

He realized, once he walked inside, that though it looked wrecked from afar, this shack was even more wrecked from up close. Out of the four pillars holding up the shack, at least two were rotting, and when the wind blew the entire place would creak, and would probably fall apart. However, this was still tolerable to Xie Lian, and when he went inside to take a look, he began to clean the place up.

The villagers went to see and really found that there was someone who was willing to live there. It was quite the source of amused curiosity and they all came over to have a look. Here, they were all quite enthusiastic and warm. Not only did they give him a broom, seeing that he’d covered himself in dirt and dust while cleaning, also gave him a basket of freshly picked water chestnuts. These chestnuts were all peeled, each one of them flawlessly white and tender, sweet and juicy-looking. Squatting inside the shack and finishing the basket, he put his hands together in a prayer, and decided in his heart that this shack was to be called the Water Chestnut Temple.

The Water Chestnut Temple already had a table. Wiped down, it could be turned into a shrine stand. Xie Lian was quite busy for a while, and the villagers who surrounded the place watching him realized that this youngster was attempting to turn the place into a temple, and grew even more curious. They all wondered aloud, “Who is this temple for?”

Xie Lian said in a light voice, “Um, I worship Xian Le’s Crown Prince.”

One of the villagers asked, “Who’s that?”

Xie Lian replied, “I… I don’t know either. I think he’s a royal crown prince.”

“Uh huh, and what did he do?”

“Probably protecting peace.” And begging for rubbish on the side.

The villagers then asked fervently, “Then does he also help bring about wealth and prosperity?!”

Xie Lian thought that one should be happy not to be broke. He said in a lukewarm voice, “Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like he can.”

Each of the villagers started putting forth suggestions of their own as to whom this temple should worship. “Then let’s worship the water [god] instead, and bring in prosperity! [That should keep the incense burning bright]!”

“Why don’t we worship Ling Wen ZhenJun? Maybe we’ll raise a brilliant scholar from our little village!”

One girl said, bashfully, “What… what about… what about…”

Xie Lian tried not to smile. “What about?”

“General Ju Yang.”

(Note: Ju Yang spelled incorrectly as in “Tremendous Masculinity”, not the correct “Altogether Bright. If you remember from Sakhyulation’s translation, it’s been a constant source of headaches for Feng Xin, who gets worshipped for virility and probably very kinky things)

Xie Lian didn’t know what to say.

If he really made a temple for “Tremendous Masculinity” Ju Yang, Feng Xin would probably shoot an arrow at him straight from the Heavens!

Having finished roughly cleaning up the Water Chestnut Temple, Xie Lian realized it was still missing an incense burner, [a sign, and a few other things]. However, he’d forgotten the most important thing – an image of the worshiped deity. He put on his bamboo hat and went out the door – well, there wasn’t a door. Thinking for a moment, he realized the place really needed reconstruction. So he wrote a sign and propped it against the entrance.

“A decrepit temple. Asking good folks: please donate for the renovation, please come give your blessing and prayers.”

Leaving the temple, within seven to eight miles, he arrived at a small town. What did he want to do there? Well, naturally it was to mingle with the crowd and find food to eat, and get to know his fellow people.

By the accounts of the heavenly folks, heavenly people do not need to eat, but that was hard to say. Indeed, they could absorb all the energy and nutrients needed for their souls from nature. The problem was – sure, this could be all they needed, but who wanted to survive on just that? Why did they have to?

Some heavenly officials, to practice asceticism to reach enlightenment, needed their organs clean and clear, couldn’t tolerate the greasy meat and food of the mortal folk. If they could, it would be like when mortal folk ate poison and dirt – they would wretch out their insides. In such a case, they simply could not eat food, [and only absorb energy as their kind could, to enhance their longevity and spiritual powers.]

But Xie Lian had no problems there. With his cursed collar, and wearing mortal clothes, he could eat anything he wanted. And thanks to his seasoned, experienced life, he could eat anything and not die. Even if it were a bun that had been left out for an entire moon, or a cake with green mold, he could eat them and still stand. Because he had a constitution that pretty much defied nature, his body could take any amount of misery and he’d still feel quite fine. In comparison: [opening a temple, he’d lose money; begging for rubbish, he’d gain money; and so ascending to the heavens was still unequal to receiving rubbish.]

As he was both incredibly handsome and had the grace of an immortal, he had a bit of an advantage as a beggar of rubbish. In a very short while, he received quite a bag of things. On his way back, he saw a large yellow cow pulling along a cart which looked quite familiar, a mountain of rice straws heaped upon it. He realized he’d seen this cart before in Pu Ji Village, and reckoned it was probably going the same way as he was, and asked the owner if he could catch a ride. He took his bag of rubbish and climbed aboard, and when he got on, he realized there was already another person sitting at the back.

This person had his upper body covered behind the straw grass, and Xie Lian could see his legs and arms splayed out rather leisurely, looking content and comfortable. Xie Lian felt rather envious. The black boots were pulled in tightly, and the straight long legs that could be seen were quite eye catching. Xie Lian recalled what he’d seen that night on Yu Jun Mountain, and couldn’t help looking at it a few times to confirm that it didn’t have a silver chain hanging on the boots. He didn’t know what sort of animal hide was used to make these boots. He thought to himself, “This young master must be from some kind of noble family, come out to have fun.”

Swaying slowly, the cart made its trip. Xie Lian, holding his beg of rubbish, pulled out a scroll to read. He used to care not a wit about the rumours and goings-on of the worlds, but after suffering too many awkward silences from his ignorance, he decided he probably shouldn’t keep tolerating that. Not too long afterwards, the cow led the cart through some maple woods. Raising his head, he saw clear green fields, the vividly-coloured trees, the wilderness about him, as well as the great mountains, and felt something like passion and wonder stir in his heart. Xie Lian couldn’t help taking a moment to be awestruck by the sight around him.

When he was younger, he’d practiced his cultivation at the Huang Ji Temple, and helped build it too. That temple was within the mountains as well, in a forest that was yellow like gold, strong like fire. In these circumstances, he couldn’t help recalling those days. After a moment, he came back to the present, and lowered his head to read his scroll again.

Opening the scroll, the first thing he read was:

“The Crown Prince of Xian Le, thrice ascended. First a martial god, then a god of plagues, and finally, a god of beggars and rubbish.”

“…”

Xie Lian said, “Fine. When you really think about it, there really isn’t that much of a difference between a god of rubbish and a martial god. They’re equal, they’re equal.”

Behind him came a soft laugh. The voice said, “What?”

It lazily continued, “The common folk love to say that all gods are equal, all people are equal. But if that were really true, then all the gods in the heavens would no longer exist.”

This sound came from behind the mound of straw grass. Xie Lian turned his head in that direction, and saw that the youngster was still languidly lying there with no intention of getting up, and had probably just meant to make a random quip. Xie Lian said, smiling, “That makes sense.”

He turned back to his scroll to continue reading, and saw the next line:

“Many believe that the Crown Prince of Xian Le, as a plague god, had curses in his writing. If his writing was stuck upon a person’s body, or the entrance of a family’s house, then they will be cursed with bad luck over and over again.”

“…”

With this sort of commentary, it would be hard for anybody to distinguish whether or not they were reading about a god or a demon.

Xie Lian shook his head, and decided he didn’t want to read any more about himself. He decided it was probably better to start with figuring out which heavenly official was who, to save himself from doing anything impolite in the future. Remembering the water god that had been mentioned by a villager before, he flipped around the scroll to find the relevant passages and found this:

“[The Water God has no crossing.] One hand controls water, the other controls wealth. Many shop owners would hold and worship an image of the water god within their shops, to protect their wealth.”

Xie Lian thought this was strange. “Why does the water deity hold wealth?”

The youngster behind the mound of straws said, “When shop owners and traders are transporting their goods, they often have to travel over water, so before their journeys they like to go to the water god temple to burn some incense and offer some prayers, in return for safe journeys, etc etc. Over time, the water deity gradually became one who protected wealth as well.”

That made sense. Xie Lian turned his body and said, “Oh, so it’s like that? Interesting. Then I suppose this water deity must be a very important heavenly official.”

The youngster sneered. “Uh huh. [Water flipping across the sky.]”

Hearing that tone of voice, Xie Lian thought the youngster obviously did not think too greatly of the water deity, and did not want to say anything too kind about the deity either. He asked, “What’s [water flipping across the sky]?”

The youngster lazily answered, “Well, for a boat to cross a big river, however it wanted to pass, it all depended on a single word from the water deity. If you don’t give him the proper prayers, he’ll flip the boat over, so I gave him a nickname. [Water flipping across the sky]. It’s just like with Ju Yang (Tremendous Masculinity) and sweeping floors.”

The most famous and renowned of the heavenly officials all had a mix of nicknames from mortal worshippers, like how Xie Lian was known as the thrice-ascended laughingstock, the infamous weirdo, the star of misfortune, funeral family dog, etc etc etc. Normally, calling a deity by their nickname was an act of extreme insolence. For instance, if one were to call Mu Qing “General Floor Sweep” to his face, his fury would know no boundaries.

Xie Lian remembered not to call him by that, and said, “So it was like that. Thank you for your answer.” He hesitated for a moment, and thought this youngster’s style of conversing was quite fun. He continued, “My friend, you look quite young, yet you seem to know quite a lot.”

The youngster replied, “Not a lot. Just for fun. When I have time, I read for no purpose, that’s all.”

Among the mortal folk, everywhere you looked, you could find booklets on mythologies and legends about gods and demons. Some were quite righteous in its writings, some were quite trashy, and there were both true and false information. That this youngster knew a lot was not too much of a surprise. Xie Lian put down his scroll and asked, “Then, my friend, since you know so much about gods, how much do you know about demons?”

The youngster said, “What demon?”

Xie Lian said, “The Blood Rain Tan Hua, Hua Cheng.”

(Note: The characters for Hua Cheng, 花城, means “Flower City.” It’s a soft pretty name)

Hearing that, the youngster gave a couple chuckles, and finally sat up. When he turned his head towards Xie Lian, Xie Lian suddenly widened his eyes.

This youngster looked about sixteen or seventeen years of age, dressed head to toe in red, skin paler than snow, eyes twinkling bright like stars, a smile on his face as he glanced sidelong at him. He was abnormally handsome, something strangely heavenly about his face. His black hair was loosely bounded, a few strands loose and crooked. Altogether, he looked quite the carefree character.

As the two of them passed through the maple forest, one bright red leaf fell down and landed on the youngster’s head. With a soft breath, he blew it away, and only then did he raise his head fully to look at Xie Lian. With a smile that was yet not quite a smile, he said, “What do you want to know? Make haste and ask.”

<< Previous (Ch. 12)

>>Next (Ch. 14)